This manual may be printed (A5). Please keep it in a safe place. Your rock will.

Owner’s manual

Model: Rock. Year of manufacture: approx. 340 million BC. Please read this manual in full before first use and keep it for future reference. Your rock will.

1. In the box

1 rock — pre-installed, ready for use
0 batteries — not required
0 charging cables — not required
1 owner’s manual — this one
Eyes — sold separately. Your rock does not miss them.

2. Getting started

Switching on: Your rock is switched on at the factory. No off switch is provided. Nor an on switch.
Initial setup: Not required. Your rock is already optimally configured. Has been for some time.
Warm-up period: Approx. 340 million years. Already complete. You may begin at once.
Registration: Username, e-mail address, date of birth (16 or over), language. Then confirm the link in the e-mail. Your rock is already registered. Has been for 340 million years.
Calibration: Place the phone on a level surface. The rock is now calibrated. It was before, too.

3. Operation

Feeding: Tap “Feed”. Your rock is fed. The difference cannot be measured by conventional means.
Petting: Run a finger across your rock. It wobbles. That is not affection. That is physics.
Talking: Tell your rock what is on your mind. Replies are possible but not intended.
Walks: Take the phone with you. The rock comes along. Distance covered by the rock: 0 m. By you: at your discretion.
Trading: Both of you open “Trade” and hold the phones close together. With NFC: back to back. Not forehead to forehead.
Changing eyes: Possible at any time. Visual acuity remains unchanged at zero.
Spinning: Swipe quickly across your rock. It spins. A slow stroke merely tips it. Both stop of their own accord.
Diary: Everything you write to your rock is kept in its diary. When traded, it stays with you. It would not have told anyone anyway.
Deleting: A rock is never deleted. It goes on the pile. There it lies. As before, only elsewhere.
Stoneradar: Shows rocks near you and in your city. Movement: none. This is not a fault.

4. Care tips

Dust: Your rock does not gather dust. Your screen does. Wipe it occasionally – the rock will not notice, you will.
Sunlight: Your rock tolerates direct sunlight perfectly well. Your battery does not.
Water: Your rock is waterproof. Your phone may not be. Please do not bathe it.
Affection: Your rock requires none. Should you offer some regardless, it will not be refused.
Holidays: Take your rock along or leave it at home. Either suits it. A rock-sitter is not required.
Several rocks: Rocks get on splendidly with one another. There has never been an argument. There has never been a conversation either.
Bedtime: Your rock does not sleep. Nor is it ever awake. Please make no allowances.

5. Games

Hide and seek: Your rock is excellent at hiding. Close the app. Gone. Open it. Found.
Staring contest: Your rock wins. Exception: sleepy eyes, in which case the match is declared void.
Fetch: Your rock will not bring the stick back. Nor will it chase it. That seems fair.
Racing: In progress. For 340 million years. A result is still pending.
Telephone: Your rock makes an excellent final recipient. What reaches it, stays there.
Catch: Not recommended. See safety notices.

6. Safety notices

WARNING

Should your rock bounce, the phone has been dropped.

Kindly pick up the phone. The rock is unharmed. It was never in danger.

WARNING

Should your rock move, you are moving the phone.

Or you are stroking it. Neither is cause for concern.

WARNING

Should your rock spin, you gave it a push.

Or you are spinning. Sit down.

WARNING

Should your rock say something you did not type,

put the phone down and sleep on it.

WARNING

Should the pile fall apart, you have shaken the phone.

It reassembles itself. Rock by rock. Please do not help.

WARNING

Do not throw.

A real rock can take it. Your phone cannot.

WARNING

Do not swallow.

Applies equally to phone and rock.

WARNING

Not approved for use as a paperweight.

Unless you place the phone on the letter. Light letters only.

7. Troubleshooting

Symptom	Cause	Remedy
Rock does not respond.	Normal operation.	No action required.
Rock only replies “…”.	Normal operation.	Keep talking. Or don’t. The outcome is comparable.
Rock said a whole sentence.	Rare event.	Take a screenshot. Share it. Do not get used to it.
“Attention!” – then “Oh, nothing.”	Normal operation.	None. It really was nothing.
Rock is behind glass.	Probation as keeper has ended.	Complete the adoption. Or wait. It will wait with you.
Stats are not at 100 %.	Impossible.	Put on your glasses.
Rock has gone.	You traded it.	Check the chain of ownership. It does not remember you. Probably.
Rock cannot see.	Rocks cannot see.	Not even with three eyes. It says so in the shop.
Rock is spinning.	You gave it a push.	Wait. It stops of its own accord.
Confirmation e-mail has not arrived.	Spam folder. Or patience.	Check your spam folder. Unconfirmed accounts are deleted after 7 days.
Radar shows no movement.	Normal operation.	Rocks do not move. Not even on radar.

8. Technical data

Weight	0 g (digital). Feels: heavy.
Dimensions	fits any screen
Operating temperature	−270 °C to +1,200 °C (rock). Your phone: considerably less.
Power consumption	none
Response time	…
Ingress protection	IP∞ (rock). Phone: see phone.
Service life	see care guide, final paragraph

9. Disposal and warranty

Disposal: Your rock is 100 % natural and may nonetheless not go in household waste – it is digital. It may, however, be traded at any time.
Warranty: We guarantee that your rock can do nothing. Should it turn out to do something, please inform us immediately. It would be a sensation.
Conformity: Your rock complies with all applicable regulations. It has read none of them.

NixStein · What can your rock do? Nothing.